Fuck Your Fantasy About “Finding” Yourself & Do This Instead

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” (George Bernard Shaw)

The vast majority of people are obsessed with the idea of “finding” their passion, purpose, values, so on and so forth.

This is because we have been brainwashed into thinking that these things are hiding somewhere, waiting to be discovered.

This is far from the reality.

Understand: Passion, purpose, values, character are things that must be developed, not discovered.

Life is about creating and forging the type of character you want.

Character is not something that we just randomly find. Instead, it is something that we must cultivate consciously through the process of trial and error.

Character is the foundation for all other things such as passions, purpose, values, so forth.

Cultivation is the path as opposed to discovering.

We cultivate the most powerful things within our lives as opposed to discovering them.

To most people, this is a shock to understand because they have been fed this narrative of waiting to find something that they want. For this very reason, frustration becomes the default mode of living for the majority.

Values, strengths, passions, and purpose are all based on a slow and steady, day by day process of action.

Day by day, we must work on our values, strengths, passions, and purpose.

These things do not grow unless we put forth more energy, time, and effort into the cultivation of their strength.

Show me a person who follows their values and I will show you a person who busted their ass to cultivate their top values.

Show me a person who lives with an extreme sense of purpose and I will show you a person who has failed multiple times on the path to growing that purpose.

Show me a person who is in tune with their strengths and I will show you a person who has invested thousands of hours into their craft.

Step Back Into Reality

Your idea of how you will improve your life is complete bullshit.

You are constantly searching for a purpose, passion, strength, and value that doesn’t even exist because it is supposed to be forged on a daily basis.

Do you ever wonder why you are stuck in a cycle of mediocrity and are constantly frustrated with how you are living your life? This is the fucking answer.

Every single day, I come across people who constantly bitch and complain about how the direction of their lives is moving towards an undesirable place. What these people fail to understand is that they have given in to the victim mentality and officially gave up their power to change their circumstances a long time ago.

Here is the reality: It’s fucking hard to develop your passions, strengths, values, and purpose.

The majority of people follow the path of least resistance and choose the easy route which is why most people don’t have any of the following mentioned above.

If you want the opposite of most than you will have to place your feet at the fire of reality on a daily basis.

It will require you to become comfortable with emotional labor. It will require humility, learning, perseverance, and a number of other skills.

How To Go About Starting The Process Of Cultivation

  1. Develop your identity around being a creator as opposed to a consumer.

The majority of people consume too much and create very little.

If you develop your identity around becoming a creator than you will begin the process of creation. Many of the things that you create will not be of high quality, but there will be creations of yours that will be high quality and that makes all the difference.

2. Treat your passions, purpose, values, and strengths like a plant.

You must treat your passions, purpose, values, and strengths like a plant at all costs.

This means that you must commit to the process of cultivating the growth of that plant — creating a healthy environment, consistent nourishment, love, discipline, so forth.

You must treat these things in the same way that you would when it comes to growing a vegetable patch.

3. Become aware of how this idea of “finding” is destroying the life quality of those around you.

Notice all the subtle ways in which the people around you engage in the victim mentality.

The lessons that these subtle actions of those around you will be abundant. It is your job to become aware of them and embody them within your character and life.

Associate the idea of “finding” with pain and you will do your best to cultivate and grow.


The path to the good life is a path that must be created and built. It is not a path that is already laid out perfectly for you.

Zaid DahhajComment